Which Way Is "The Witcher?"
Cast: Henry Cavill, Anya Charlotra, Freya Allan,
Synopsis: The witcher Geralt, a mutated monster hunter, struggles to find his place in a world in which people often prove more wicked than beasts.
Hey, everyone...today, I’m reviewing Netflix’s new fantasy series, “The Witcher” and oh boy...right off the bat, was I sadly disappointed :(
Now, as a gamer...like a lot of you who are, I’m sure...were excited to hear the news about a TV adaptation of the game and although I haven’t played the games, this series isn’t based on them. It’s based on the books and I’ll admit, I haven’t read it either but if the book is anything like what was put on screen, then it’s not a book I want to pick up and read.
I’m picky. Very picky about what it is I read and watch but getting to the point, like I said in the beginning, I was disappointed. It stars Henry Cavill (many of you know him as the latest Superman) and that’s one of the reasons I waited to watch but to be truthfully honest...it definitely wasn’t his best work and not all of it was his fault, I know that, but nonetheless, it wasn’t a good choice for reasons I’ll name in a moment.
The series from beginning to end of each episode, jumped from one thing to the next with no solid plot or flow, that helped blend each episode together. For example, episode one started out with Geralt slaying a swamp monster then FF that a bit and a castle’s under attack. Who was attacking the castle and why? Things like this need an explanation which is why the series lacked an intro or prologue in the beginning of episode one allowing viewers to understand what was taking place and why.
There was another series I watched a few weeks ago that had an issue with these points mentioned seconds ago and like that one, The Witcher didn’t have a plot or order to each of the episodes. They just threw it at viewers, expecting us to just know everything and everyone. Not the best story development team.
The acting was fair enough, but did get better from the surrounding cast along the way. However, I have no idea what the hell Henry Cavill was doing with his voice! It’s true, every actor develops their own take on their character and adds something to it yes, like Johnny Depp for example, but Henry failed 100% at his attempt. Other than his look, including the wig, which was alright (but I’ve seen better cosplays) the role of Geralt just wasn’t really suitable. For the first time, Henry’s acting was boring and I couldn’t stand listening to his monotone voice. Hell, I’ve seen robots in movies that had more emotion and feeling in their way of speech than Henry. Mutant or not, it shouldn’t matter.
The fights were adequate but weren’t long enough to really leave a lasting impression. And believe me, I write about fighting and have seen a lot of fighting scenes. But considering the scenes shown, Henry performed powerfully. Okay, that could sound weirder than intended. Sorry...
Like I mentioned before, the episodes jumped and there were timeline gaps in each. I mean, one episode, showed the present then another focused on the past? I couldn’t tell which was which? And in episode one, the Queen jumped out the window right? Well, in a later episode, she was sitting at the table with Geralt at her side. I was like, wait a minute...didn’t she throw herself out the window? But then in the last episode, it caught up to itself, rehashing how it all started. Do you see my issue there? Even my mom was left with question marks.
The magic? Oh, my. Was premature. Gandalf performed more magic in Lord of the Rings than what was supposed to be on this series. And speaking of LOTR, there were many comparisons to the Middle Earth based world and that of Game of Thrones and fairy tales. Like for example, Princess Ciri in the castle (imagine it a tower) and was waiting for her to let down her hair like Rupunzel. That’s the first. Then, later on in another episode focusing on Ciri’s parents, there was the underlying Beauty and the Beast concept there; her mother kissing the beast, turning him back to human.
I need to take a moment to sigh. (sigh)
Oh...can someone please tell me why all these god for saken elves have the same kind of names!? I mean, you have Filavandrel; an elf guy we see for...I don’t know...3 seconds worth of screen time. Any relation to Lady Galadriel from LOTR? A brotha-from-another-motha perhaps!?
I’m sorry. I’m outspoken and yes...sarcastic. And speaking of names, there were some that were hard to pronounce such as Mousesack. I mean, for a quick moment to the ear, you’d think they were calling out Ballsack! (laughing uncontrollably) Whoa...sorry.
This is a series where Witchers are supposed to hunt monsters. Well, I only saw him kill or slay two but I’m sure there were in between monsters that were of course not shown. Would’ve been nice to see that though. Hence, the monster slaying Witchers? He hunted and killed more men than anything. But then again, men are monsters too, so...I get it. But the creature makeups were about average or lower and looked like rejects from Doom.
Last thing, for there is still so much to say but I don’t want to continue on and on, I was so sick and tired of hearing the freaking word DESTINY! I lost count on how many times it was mentioned and I was so glad Geralt got rid of that annoying prissy bard of whom had an underlying fixation on Geralt. And his voice? It sounded as if he was squeezed too many times.
Over all, it wasn’t the best and a great disappoint. Especially from Henry who is among my favorite actors.
I rate Netflix’s The Witcher 3 ⭐⭐⭐ and if there is going to be a second season, I hope they get some things right, like order and a real plot.